Feb. 27th, 2009

littleblackbow: (doll)
When I was a kid, I had this thing where I used to think at times that there was nobody in the world except me. That it was like I was in an RPG, but I was the only player.

Everything was weird. Nothing made sense, and I'd go through an entire day under so much stress and worry that I'd get to the end of the day and not know where it went or if I actually did anything.

Today was like that.

I went to work, but it was like working in the Twilight Zone. Things were weird. Things were changing, and there were a lot of little secretive meetings here and there. I feel like I did when I was living in Louisiana, counting down the hours before the hurricane hit.

There are two things I can say about today, though. And I know nobody I work with is going to read this, but I've observed a couple of things.

#1 - People need to try to understand each other more. We have some very personal problems in our personal private lives, and although it's well-advised to leave them at home, sometimes we just can't. I can't control it when I have an emotional breakdown at work. I can't assume anyone else would know what's going on with me.

Now, I have no idea what is actually happening at work, but something big is going down, and I almost want to just duck out and go away until it blows over, but part of me - the main part of me - the libra part of me - wants to help if I can.

#2 - I think the store has the best captain in the world, but unless people go to him and listen to him and pay attention to what he says. He's a very smart man, and an incredible avuncular. Just because he doesn't always tell you what you want to hear doesn't mean he's wrong. He's the fairest and most understanding boss I've ever known, and I have worked for a LOT of people.

Now, I don't know what kind of trouble has been stirred up, or what's going on, but he was walking around in a kind of funk all day, and that seriously sapped me of all energy and motivation. I felt like I was walking on eggshells all day.

I don't like feeling like that.

I need a drink, and then I'm going to bed.

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