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Title: Not Your Mother's Eyes
Author: [insanejournal.com profile] littleblackbow
Pairing: Snape/Harry
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: This is just a little drabble that wouldn't get out of my head. The idea of Harry constantly hearing that he has his mother's eyes and othewise looks just like his father... God, that would bug the hell out of me.


"Please, I can't."

The look on Snape's face was telling. He was in absolute agony over this strange situation. For a moment, he looked as if he would be willing to give in and allow Harry to be a part of his life. Then as soon as that door seemed to open a crack, he slammed it shut again.

"Give me one good reason," Harry said, grasping both of Severus' arms. He stared directly up into the dark pools of his eyes and felt Snape relax a little.

Slowly, Snape pulled his arms out of Harry's grasp and brought them up to the sides of his face. "I just..." his voice cracked as he spoke, "... you have your mother's eyes." Snape's voice trailed off into a light whisper. The room around them was too quiet, and even his whisper echoed as if he'd screamed that observation.

"No, you're wrong," Harry said with a determined look on his face. "They're my eyes. And this isn't my father's face, it's my face. And this isn't anyone's body but my own."

Harry took a step backward, never breaking his gaze with Severus even as the other man's arms fell to his side. "It's all mine. It's mine to do with as I please. And if I should choose to give it all away to someone, then that's my choice."

As he stood there, trembling, Harry carefully noted Snape's reaction.

"I don't deserve--"

"NO! You don't understand. This isn't about deserving or about a reward for one thing or another. This isn't a prize or a payment or an award. This is me." Harry patted his chest. "I'm giving a gift. It's a present. It isn't something you can just decide if you deserve it or not. If you want it, and if you're willing to accept it, then... it's yours."

It took Severus a moment to collect his thoughts and process this information. He wasn't used to receiving gifts. As far as he was concerned, if a gift was involved, it would require some other type of re-payment later. There was no such thing as "free" in his world.

"Stop thinking for a second and answer me, Snape! Do you want me?"

It took Snape too long to answer. He paused for a moment to think of how to phrase the answer to such a direct question. "I want..."

Before he could finish, he found himself with an armful of Harry Potter. "I know you want."

Petting back Harry's hair, Severus ducked his head into the young man's shoulder. "Please. Make me take this."

There was no answer, just a slightly tighter squeeze around Snape's chest and a soft kiss to the side of his neck.

Date: 2009-04-12 10:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] winoniel.insanejournal.com
This was marvelous! I know exactly what you mean about the likenesses. Harry has suffered so much because people took one look at him and made all sorts of assumptions based on that (I know the feeling, being so gorgeous, people hate me because I'm beautiful *grins*).

He really articulated his feelings well, and then finally brooked no argument from Severus. Yeay!

Date: 2009-04-12 12:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littleblackbow.insanejournal.com
Yeah, and I think it would be a problem - constantly having someone look at you and see your parents.

I think once we get over that, there's room for the relationship to blossom.

^_^

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Date: 2009-04-12 11:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] synn.insanejournal.com
Ah, that was lovely. I love how Severus is insecure, but isn't ooc (to me) in how that's shown.

Date: 2009-04-12 12:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littleblackbow.insanejournal.com
Thanks.

yeah, I do NOT see him as insecure, but cautious. He's been burnt before, and he's not likely to allow himself to be hurt in the same way again.

And the only way he can allow himself to have this is if Harry makes him take what he wants.

Date: 2009-04-12 11:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inspiredlife.insanejournal.com
Oh, I loved this! Snape's plea at the end broke my heart and filled me with glee simultaneously. What a lovely piece. Thank you for sharing!

Date: 2009-04-12 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littleblackbow.insanejournal.com
Hee... thank you! Thanks for reading and commenting.

Yeah, I wanted it to be the ultimate in defeatest and yet hopeful comments. I know first-hand how hard it is to admit that you want something and to be willing to accept it when it's offered to you.

Date: 2009-04-12 01:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leela_cat.insanejournal.com
Oh, yes, I can see Snape needing a bit of pushing, unable to take the last step to get what he wants. Nicely done.

Date: 2009-04-12 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littleblackbow.insanejournal.com
Almost like he needs permission to feel good about something. ^_^

Poor guy. He's so used to being trampled or used.

Date: 2009-04-12 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fancypantsdylan.insanejournal.com
that's so sad, but beautiful for its sadness

Date: 2009-04-12 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littleblackbow.insanejournal.com
i think it's hopeful. It's sad because of the circumstances, but hopeful because we all know that Harry wont' let go.

Date: 2009-04-12 06:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hambares.insanejournal.com
Kudos to Harry for telling Severus the honest truth - that Harry is his own unique person

Date: 2009-04-12 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littleblackbow.insanejournal.com
Sometimes it's hard to do, but I think that if anyone is going to stand up for who he is, and who he is not, it will be Harry.

Maybe not during the frame of the books, but after that... when he's grown up a bit.

Date: 2009-04-12 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] la_dissonance.insanejournal.com
Oh, I love this!!! So poignant and true to both of their characters. <3
And I couldn't agree more on the 'you have your mother's eyes thing'... how fast would that get old?! Goodness.

(Hope you don't mind if I friend you, btw. I feel like I see you around everywhere, basically.)

Date: 2009-04-12 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littleblackbow.insanejournal.com
Oh, friend away! I'll friend you right back. Between this journal and Livejournal (I'm Chibitoaster over there), yeah, I seem to see you all over the place. :P

Date: 2009-04-12 07:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] la_dissonance.insanejournal.com
Done! :D

Unless you have vastly different stuff in both places, I'm only adding your IJ, because it's too quiet around here and I'm trying to remedy that. My own IJ is nothing more than a high-rated fic repository right now, though. *facepalm*

Date: 2009-04-12 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dementordelta.insanejournal.com
Mmmm you wrote Snarry! Lovely and so sweet!

Date: 2009-04-14 07:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slashpine.insanejournal.com
Ha, nice! I like the way you slowly get them together. They are on such different wave-lengths, Snape and Harry. It's not just Snape's past and Harry's resemblance to his parents that stands between them; it's their different ages, education, and just about every aspect of their personal style! Some get this pair together by just changing one (or both) of them dramatically; I like how this ficlet shows them preparing to slowly work it out together.

And yeah, Harry being told he's like his father, has his mother's eyes, etc. can be creepy. As it happens, my eyes are a striking shape and color that are exactly like my grandmother's, and a cousin who grew up very close to her always comments on that when she sees me. She has a special affection for me because of it, in fact. But she never expects me to be *like* our grandmother. It's just a distinctive family trait that I happened to inherit. It hardly means we're the same!

I actually think JKR kept reusing the "He has Lily's eyes" gimmick out of habit, and too many fanfic writers pick up on it without thinking about how it would really play out. Harry, being sane (at least in this story, LOL) rightly tells Snape to stuff it. Given Snape's battered view of relationships, they've got bigger problems to deal with!

I like the ending. I can really see them gently hugging and getting to know each other like this.

Date: 2009-04-15 06:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keyairreem.insanejournal.com
Wonderful!!!!

Date: 2009-04-18 09:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bridgetmkennitt.insanejournal.com
This was a pleasure to read, and I completely understand Harry feeling that way.

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